Saturday, June 26, 2010

Refreshing my German, or How to Scare Myself Witless in under 10 Minutes

In this day and age, we're all more than a li'l bit wary of the potential dangers lurking and ever-threatening in this wild and crazy world we call the internet. I mean, since the dawn of, "You've got mail!" and the subsequent looney and twisted pop-up chats with which we were assaulted, until we were all smart enough to get a free and more secure email host, we are all now well aware that there are scary land-mines galore within this global network. Rightttt?!

RIGHT.

Well, I don't know how else to introduce Live Mocha, a free online language course community, than to say that I'm having a lot of fun refreshing my own German, while being creeped out to the very maxxxx.

You see, it's super-duper interactive. I mean, like totally.

Lem'me explain.

There are four parts to every language lesson: first, you tab through an audio-visual lesson, where male and female voices spit out simple phrases in two completely different dialects, while viewing corresponding photos; second, you play matching and sentence-building games with those same photos while those same voices repeat previously said phrases; third, you type sentences, using the vocabulary learned in parts one and two, and submit them for review by REAL PEOPLE YOU'VE NEVER MET IN YOUR LIFE, who hopefully speak and write the language and will soon afterwards respond, offering praise & criticism (if needed); and finally, to really put your blankie in a twist, you submit a recorded verbal sample of created sentences, using the vocabulary practiced in parts one, two and now three, and then REAL PEOPLE YOU'VE NEVER MET IN YOUR LIFE will listen and respond, again freely offering praise & criticism (if still needed).

I should confess that I learned this last part the second time around, since during my initial indoctrination, at the very moment when I was prompted to press record, I squealed, "Ack! What??!! No way, pervert!!" and closed the window.

Anyway, I'm doing really well, according to some guy named Ulrich that I'VE NEVER MET IN MY LIFE.

I guess the "Live" part of Live Mocha could've been a dead give-away for some people, but for myself, who prefers to have everything spelled out clearly and with near-perfect syntax, I thought I was signing up for Live Mocha, as in "Live your life brown," which I concede makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but what new age hippie 'site nowadays actually has a name that makes sense (think:facebook; a book of my face, really?); and does "Live Cappucino touched with cocoa" make any more sense than living brown? Well, maybe, if you're pretending that you're speaking German with a total stranger over a tall, full-fat-Mocha-hold-the-whipped-cream. But it's a stretch!

Wait. Does that mean facebook could mean my very own book of all the hundreds of faces that belong to my virtual friends? Dangit.

So, maybe not the very best place for an aging paranoid to refresh a previously learned language or to learn a new one, but I can totally see the draw for younger, groovy-hipster folks who enjoy interacting with mere strangers. You know, the ones with the funny hair styles who find anonymous and unguarded interactions with internet strangers, who could possibly be the big, bad boogeyman, exciting or interesting or something desperately weird like that.

As for me, the aging, Gen-X paranoid, I plan to continue with Live Mocha since it's fairly well made, the photos are a hoot, it engages one entirely in the process, and my kids are having a lot of fun, too. But I pinky swear if Ulrich ever asks me what I'm wearing, DAS IST ES!!

2 comments:

  1. Um, I would have thought it was a "short i" in live as well. I now happily put myself in the paranoid Gen X category along with you.

    Hmm, with whom would one converse in Latin?

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  2. Oh, Richele! Live Mocha has courses in Latin too! I just added it to mine so I can keep up with the kids. Plus, we use it for a fun lesson to break up the week. Enjoy!

    If you join, add me as a friend! :)

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I'm gonna shut up now. Please, tell me what YOU think.