Monday, October 31, 2011

P-P-P-Pressure, Pressing Down on Me...

Sometimes the pressure of being a single mum of four can be, well, rather pressing.  I mean, all the responsibility for success or failure rests with me.  No one else helps to shoulder the burden of raising well these four wonderful people without injuring their hearts much along the way.

I know, I know: God is with me ... and He is, but sometimes a tangible helping hand doesn't hurt much either ... nor a coconut milk latte.   That never hurts at all.

Lately, I've been feeling really crazy--like, loca-in-the-cabeza crazy.  I have way too much going on, and the distractions are driving me to distraction.  I cannot tune in to my kids without letting some deadline press further and heavier, so I tell them I'm working ... I tell them this a lot.  Sometimes they understand, but mostly they just want to play ... or talk ... or hug.  I love it when they just want to hug.  Almost always, it's exactly what I've been needing, too, without even knowing it.

They're smart little buggers.

They know things are now different, that I don't have the leisure to just hang out, cook, clean, and homeschool.  Now they do the bulk of the cleaning and washing; they're more independent with much of their school work; and each is responsible for his or her own breakfasts ... whilst I work.

They don't like it, and I don't blame them.

Most days I don't like it either.

What greeted me when I arrived home from the gym <3

3 comments:

  1. A woman after my own heart! Aww I'm gonna cry now! I'm not going to say, "you have the Lord stay strong", you know you have the Lord it's not about that it's about community and unity in your life, I want to help and I'm not going to let you say no..not come and help you out that sounds wrong, I want to come along side you and encourage you, physically, emotionally, spiritually..I need a time and an address let me know your schedule..love your friend

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  2. Always, always stop everything for the hug. I wouldn't be surprised if your writing went more smoothly if you did play, talk and hug.

    This coming from someone recently bullied by a deadline. And, hey LL, let's stop calling it by that terrible word "deadline" - how about the "point in time when our creativity on that particular subject must receives final freedom on paper" or something shorter :)

    R

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  3. I have a penny thought:

    I am not a single mom, but I am a "too busy" mother of 5 sons from college all the way down to 1st grade. I am a home-schooler, writer, and lover of Christ. I've had many seasons of life that have rendered me useless around the house due to high risk pregnancy or injury. My boys have learned to cook, clean, school, and play independently and I have struggled with guilt. I was crying to a girl friend about the fact I had to rely on my children way more than I ought. She smiled and said, What do you feel bad about?
    Teaching them team work, responsibility, independence, compassion, the honor of hard work?
    hmmm. I thought.

    I want to encourage you. The Lord knows the season you are in right now and has hand chosen you to be the mom of your four children. It's a match made in heaven!
    Your children may not play video games all day, they may actually pull their own weight, but do not feel badly.

    Always stop for the hugs. Always set a timer for 15 minutes and dance and play at some point in the day. Always snuggle and read at night. Always tell them you love them. But do not feel badly about needing them to work and be independent.

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I'm gonna shut up now. Please, tell me what YOU think.