A Few Thoughts about Tiger Mothering



Being fitted for her first pair of pointe shoes

 A lot of buzz has been generated by the "Tiger Mother", both positive and very, very negative.  Some have been challenged to expect more from their children, while others are calling social services on all their Chinese neighbors.  But on the whole, the reception of Tiger Mothering has been rather positive.  While responding to a friend this morning, I realized something: our culture is ripe for the pouncing.

The very concepts of excellence and perfection are derived of God.  In our home school, I expect my children to do the very best work they each can possibly do.  I want them to do every task as perfectly as they can.  It's only by training in excellence that they can truly have any delight or joy in the development of their respective gifts and talents.  Otherwise, what pleasure can it bring to see a job not well done?  Our satisfaction in this life is tightly tied to the final result of our labor.  We delight in the vision of a finished project when we know that we did our very best.  And if we allow less than excellence, are we being good stewards?  God determined to give us gifts and talents for a predestined purpose, and we as parents and as individuals are responsible to identify and develop them.

The balance comes by worldview: the prowling Tiger Mother bases her "encouragement" upon an evolutionary humanist ideal: survival and development of the fittest.  The logical conclusion of such a path is void of grace and mercy.  But our materialistic culture is listening anyway and intently.  The definition of success is no longer some long-dead American dream of picket fence and family bliss.  Today, parents enroll their young children into activities that will give them a competitive leg up in the world.  The new American dream is to beat the pants off of the boy next door at any and everything, to drive the better car, to own the bigger home, to take the more exotic vacation, to make the most money.  And so parents are starting or willing to start to push.

Homeschooling Christians are not without the taint of this new parenting philosophy.  We home school because we want to give our children the very best; it's an outward symbol for the deep love for them within our heart.  We say we are called to it, and that may be true, but we also love it.  I know I do.  Therefore, we must guard our hearts against the influence of this humanist culture in which we navigate, being ever the more careful not to get caught up in the bragging wars and one-up-manship that stings and sears the soul.  Excellence for the sake of excellence is fruitless.  What is the purpose, therefore, of a godly push?

As a people who shall be called to give an account, we must keep ever present before us that our talents and gifts are from the very hand of God, set apart for His plan and purposes.  They are not of our doing--they do not exist because we used the best educational method on earth or watched the least television--but are given us whether we like it or not.  It's only with an eternal view of life, which is so much more glorious than our vaporous time here on earth, that we can reflect brightly and extend liberally any and all of His attributes.  We show mercy because we know mercy.  We love because he first loved us.  Instead of pushing our children toward temporary material gain, we must together reach and strain toward the very best the Father wills to give.  So, let's leave the Lion [or Tiger] Fathering to Him who is most able and determine ourselves to be lambs, willing to be led and by His grace.

Baaaaa.