I'm a Wreck, Therefore, I Buy

I came across this yesterday, and a resonating, "Yes!" flew from between my lips.

"So maybe it's just possible that when people make purchases sometime, there's a bit of insecurity involved rather than confidence."

It was written in response to all the "consumer confidence" hoopla frightening people into buying crap they just don't need lest they must needs be considered guilty of single-handedly destroying our collective hopes for a more richly self-satisfying American, if not global, economy.

Sadly, if I am honest with me and then you--which I really, really want to be--there is always something on my secret unwritten list that I think will make me that much more fabulous if I could just get my poorly manicured fingers on it.  I say this is sad because I should know better.  No very long ago I had to stuff all everything I owned, save a suitcase or two, into a storage unit and learn to live on the charity of family, friends, and utter strangers.  It was especially painful for me, the mother of four young children, to lose everything I thought made life worth living, outside of the tender hearts I held in the palm of my hand, knowing that, if the landscape before me threatened to be preserved and immovable, I would never have the means by which to recapture that life and those things again.

Not that we were rich.  Not at all.  But they were my things.

Through the many months that followed...and followed...and followed, I learned to live a life without those things, a life even without those dreams of things.  I wore short pants in the middle of winter, to the chagrin of my dearest friend.  I wore a single pair of shoes that eventually needed to be, after removing them, left out-of-doors because they got too funky.  I put my long, unruly, and distressed hair into a clip each and every day because I couldn't afford to have it cut.  These things seem so trivial, but when your and your children's stomachs are being filled by the grace of God, when your heads rest together at night upon pillows of mercy, and you hold your breath so that your very butts don't find their way onto the streets, common feminine comforts--nay, luxuries--are not trivial at all.

But, after a while, it stopped hurting so very much and actually started feeling right.

So what happened?

Well, slowly, it got better.  My wallet got fatter, and I, one day unknown, again made a list:

1. Clothes

2. Shoes

3. Hair

4. Makeup

I just wanted to feel like a woman again, not an animal surviving on instinct.  But, what struck me yesterday when I read that blog post was that, although those days are past--not far past, but past enough--I still have that same list: clothes, shoes, hair, and makeup.  And each time I start to feel out-of-control, insecure, or the havoc of meeting the eyes of scrutinizing strangers, I pull out this list and hold onto it tightly, as if adorning the outside of my self will make it all so very better.  I know, I know: man looks at the outside of man, but God looks upon the heart.  I just wish my heart wasn't such a wreck.

Compassion and More Compassion

Thank you very much to all the faithful bloggers who penned their recent group trip to a Compassion International ministry site. Undeniably, my heart was hooked at hello.

Please, meet Christian Alexander Martinez Hernandez of El Salvador, an eight-year-old boy who loves soccer, playing with cars and running.  He lives with his father, mother, and three siblings, and has been waiting more than six months for our family to sponsor him.  My own tenderhearted eight-year-old son fell in love with him, and the deal, as they say, was sealed.

But who can help just one?

Not we, not we.

May I have the honor of introducing Belem Fatimata, an eleven-year-old girl, living in AIDS-affected Burkina Faso in West Africa with her father, mother, and four siblings.  She's a bright young lady who likes jumping rope and playing group games.  Although we didn't keep her waiting as long, she was ordained for us just the same.

We may never be blessed enough to visit them personally, but may the Lord be pleased with the fragrant offering of the desire of our hearts to help those who cannot help themselves.  Be magnified.

Just Wrong, Palin Wronged

From the giddy-up Election 2008, I was a strong supporter of Republican Mike Huckabee, a true conservative with progressive ideas.  I was encouraged then that, although considered a long-shot, his shot was quite tangible to the very end of the primary.  And I am encouraged today that Mike Huckabee continues to speak up and out for conservatives, being respected and respectable in the mainstream media enough to warrant his very own show on Fox.

I never was and now never will be a supporter of centrist John McCain.

It is pretty well speculated, if not fully known, that John McCain brought Sarah Palin into his campaign for the presidency as a "Hail Mary," a last shot with a prayer toward making the winning goal, his goal of being President of the United States, because he needed the support of conservatives, who could or would not, in good conscience, vote for him.  But, by bringing Sarah Palin into the mix, Senator McCain hoped to woo conservatives with her religious faith and conservative social policy.  His acceptance of Sarah Palin into his campaign was merely political maneuvering and not because he respected or personally accepted Sarah Palin.  Here's the evidence:

On August 31, McCain defended Sarah Palin as his choice for Vice President on Fox News, saying, "She's a partner and a soulmate."

But did he defend her when the media railed against her, claiming that she wasn't even the mother of her own child?

On November 3, McCain's wife, Cindy, defended Sarah Palin to CNN's Larry King, saying, "She is marvelous and I just have such a great respect for her...She has done nothing but help this ticket."

But only two days after the national election in which Senator John McCain decidedly lost to Democrat and socialist Barak Obama, John McCain is blaming Sarah Palin for his loss.  Today, Fox News has the complicit audacity to leak a "riff" between the camps of McCain and Palin, blaming Palin for unknown and unwon votes for MCain, which she somehow single-handedly lost, and accusing Sarah Palin of such heinous geographical ignorance.  According to Fox "sources," Sarah Palin did not know which three countries were members of the North American Free Trade Agreement--N-o-r-t-h A-m-e-r-i-c-a, folks--and never knew that Africa was a continent.  Shame on you, Fox, for thinking the American people so foolishly stupid as to believe these smears.  And shame on you both, John and Cindy McCain, as you sit back and allow Sarah Palin to be blamed in full for your campaign loss.  Sounds like sour grapes to me.

These are the very reason you lost, Senator McCain: Like President Bush, you never respected the conservative base of the Republican party--you tolerated us, but we never truly had your back, just your back-biting--and you were always a poor sport.